February 11, 2010
I can't help but to voice this;
Life for me now is just pure moderate. Nothing much, nothing exciting, other than meeting up sweetheart like last week. That was like a week ago. Other than that, nothing much worth mentioning. Life now seem like 'spirale vers le bas' (English: spiral down), just disband somehow, despite not able to host a last public performance. Recording wasn't successful, but still trying. On the verge of going broke soon, as now I'm living on my own, somehow indirectly on my own. Anyway that's not very important. I'm going to retreat to my 'meditating zone', to regain clear mindset, hopefully.
Anyway, on the lighter note, I met a friend, just now, yes, just now. He's my former classmate. We know each other for like six years now?
We aren't close kind. But once in awhile we whine to each other, as we are the kind that uses to have nightlife. I still have that nightlife bloods run through me. You can never know how peaceful night is. So as usual, we went to our hangout spot and sit down updating each other, like our personal life and retard we are. Hahaha. In between the conversation of updating, my friend need to run home to check something, which I volunteer to follow, since I had nothing much, and can't fall asleep anyway.
I went to his house; the last time I went was like in 2005? He is the second eldest in the family of five. His mother is the one who is contributing to the household and daily necessities. With her mom working in the afternoon shift to early morning next day, I can't help but feel sympathetic. His mom knows me, and I know his mom. We had a little chat, and trust me, she's a nice lady, a nice mother. From my instinct and what my friend told me, which I had confirm, is that his mother, is someone who don't show sadness and always happy, trying to get by everyday, and she's not earning much per month, F.Y.I. the little chat was short, but memorable and sweet, but I can't help to ask my friend what have happened to his mom, because apparently, it seems to me that her health have been deteriorate slowly. The last time I met his mom was still in pretty pink health, but when I just spoke to his mom, I can't help but to feel sad. I don't know where the sadness came from, but I just felt sad.
Despite knowing his family condition, mom being the one contributing to major household and such; yet she still can live happily without much stress and etc. I remember once my friend told me, that he and his elder brother was fighting, mom tried to stopped the fight but no avail, which result mom crying and praying at the same time. Trust me, from here, I have no idea how to describe such a nice lady. Despite we had casual chat once in awhile, is somehow hurts to see my friend and his mom living in such condition.
When I was there earlier on just now, the mom was sleeping in the living room together with his younger brothers. What affect me more is that not only their living condition is bad, but also, their monthly bills, such as unities bills and etc. I wanted to help so bad, but unfortunately, I've not yet to able to feed myself (read below about me starting to live independently). I admire how my friend's mom able to live without thinking much; probably she don't show it I suppose?
Despite being at my friend's place for a mere 10 minutes, I was deeply affect. Why people like us, can't live as happy like how my friend's mom is doing? We have those luxury things, which they don't have such as Internet, iPod, latest handphone, Aircon. This seriously affected me badly in a way or another, but in the positive way. This made me sit down and think seriously on changing my lifestyle. Sometime, money can't really buy happiness. Not only that, my friend is such a nice friend that he in a way or another try to help his peers, at least by accompanying them the whole day. I remember once I just mere ask him out accompany me, as I felt lonely just to drive alone; he did offer to pay for the petrol, but I turned him down, saying is okay.
Looking at this, makes me think, I'm also on the verge of going broke, you might be telling me to go find job, but hey! I'm entering NS, can't I just enjoy the remanding 20 plus days or so? Despite able to commite to everything including to wooing a girl now, but what's the point? Money can't buy really happiness or love. Even if money can buy, did she ever see how sincere I was, by running around to grab stuff, but leave me here hanging like a headless chicken (see: Mike the Headless Chicken) for going two months? Haha! I suppose let natural takes it own path, no rush! I've the patience. :D This too, does apply me in my music and my planned career. Well I suppose this is life, what I'm probably facing is just piece and puzzle of life that I believe everyone do face it in their life hood.
Welcome to the outside world! Leaving teenage hood to adulthood. (:
Till then, Happy Chinese New Year folks!
Posted @ 04:44 | PermaLink |
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Planned, but nah. Just leave it be loh. If you do notice, I hardly update. I update for the sake of update. :D
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